Martyred
by NoNoWriter
Summary: Worried that they have somehow displeased their god, the village of Konoha now tries to make amends by confronting their god with a virgin sacrifice: Uchiha Sasuke. NaruSasu. AU.
1. For the Greater Good

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto!

Warning: Foul language, smut ahead, unbeta'ed and probably the good old OCCness. Oh, and in case you tend to get offended about religious things, please hit the 'back' button. I'm not into any religion, but I do like to play around with the idea of gods and other such things people believe in.

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Chapter one: For the Greater Good

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Sasuke Uchiha was not a happy camper. To start his long list of the misery that was life -or rather, death and insanity- his parents had died when he had been but a child. Lucky for him, he still had his sadistic big brother who took care of him.

He had done an excellent job rising Sasuke, by the way. Sasuke considered his older brother as the ultimate example of what not to grow up to be. But, nonetheless, Itachi had been taking good care of their financial needs, he'd get Sasuke's credit for that. Of course, what his brother _did_ to make them more loaded that their parents had done was left unknown to the younger Uchiha, but he tried to assure himself that that was none of his concern. He'd sleep better without knowing.

They lived in a mighty big village with many roads, alleys, ditches and severs that led out of there. Sasuke should know, he had memorized the map of their town in case he needed to _get away_. Which, ironically enough, he had been trying to do ever since their parents had died. Now more than ever, mind you.

Alas, Itachi was a tricky man. Influential, ridiculously powerful and insanely wealthy. That was considered enough to keep one boy in town, one could imagine.

As to why his brother was so keen to keep him in the village, Sasuke had no idea. He had asked Itachi about it but the man had said something about family and love. The bullshit had been too much and Sasuke learned to not to ask ever again.

Now though, he was getting some seriously mixed signals when it came to his brother. It just so was, that the weather had been rather unstable, threatening the harvest and the villagers had started to worry. It hadn't happened before, after all, their beloved _god_ had protected them and blessed them with a very fertile grounds.

But maybe they had been taking their blessings for granted of late, leaving their god very displeased with their actions. Any amount of praying hadn't helped, so it was time to make more drastic actions.

The village had decided to offer the god a _virgin sacrifice_. In which Itachi had, without any hesitation, donated his little brother. That being the reason (among many, _many_ other reasons) Sasuke wanted to leave his precious home town immediately.

"What the hell!?"

"Mind your language, sacrifice."

"Fuck you! I won't do it!"

"Ah, but you have no choice."

"Find a girl to do it."

"Come now, baby brother. You're as pretty as any girl, feel no pressure."

"Do it yourself."

"But Sasuke, a virgin sacrifice has to be a _virgin_."

"Well I'm not a virgin!"

Sasuke's face was slightly red, but surely it was just from all the yelling. Itachi was as calm as ever. He stood up from his chair and walked towards Sasuke. The map of all the escape routes from the village ran through Sasuke's mind once again. It would most likely turn out to be futile, but at least he'd die trying!

Suddenly appearing beside him, Itachi breathed into his ear.

"I'm aware that this is highly _inappropriate_ of me, brother dear, but I've been having some heated dreams about you of late."

A shiver ran down Sasuke's spine.

"And I was only being _considerate_ of you since I thought you had some intimacy issues. I also thought that it would be a shame if your own brother were to take such a delicate thing as your virginity from you..."

Itachi's hand landed on his shoulder, his fingertips slightly brushing his arm as they slid downwards.

"But what delightful news you have just told me! You being familiar with the pleasure of two joined bodies after all."

The hand stopped at his thigh, too damn close to his groin.

"You wouldn't mind joining me in bed, would you now, little brother? I'm growing very impatient with my dreams and if this goes on I might end up… taking you by _force_."

Sasuke had frozen to the spot. Which was better anyway? To be sent to a frickin' mountain to be sacrificed or to get ass-raped by his brother?

"I'm a virgin! I'm a virgin, Goddammit!!"

Sasuke shoved the hand away and scooted away from his psycho of a brother. There was no doubt in his mind that Itachi would take him by force if he was to stay at home and Itachi happened to be bored.

His brother was almost frowning.

"Don't damn the god. See, that's the root of our problems."

'_Then you must be the water feeding the roots_', Sasuke dryly thought.

--

For once in his life, Sasuke actually regretted not sleeping with all the girls that had thrown their bodies at him, one after another until there was a pile of squealing females blocking his path. Although, as it seemed like Itachi _really_ wanted to make him a virgin sacrifice, he'd probably just convince the village that Sasuke was one anyway, had he slept with a girl or not.

Now Sasuke was all dolled up, wrapped in a ceremonial kimono. The streets were decorated and the villagers were out on the streets, cheering him on (those freaking bastards). Sasuke had been given a silver dagger, a box of matchsticks and some rope. He had dared to ask what they were for, in which Itachi had cheerfully said that since the people of their village had no clue about how a virgin sacrifice was supposed to work, they just gave Sasuke various ways to kill himself.

Now encouraged by his brother's ever so comforting words, Sasuke started his journey to sacrificehood. Their village resided at the foot of a mountain and believed that their ever loving god lived up there, watching over the village with a smile on its face. Sasuke sighed and cursed his luck.

But wasn't this the perfect chance for him to escape? Itachi was setting him loose outside the village after all, with no one to look after him. He tried to bite down the evil smirk that threatened to grow on his lips. The unbidden smirk died down though, when Itachi shouted after him.

"By the way Sasuke! The whole mountain is surrounded by guards, you know, to make sure you don't _lose your way_."

And that was it. No escaping, just sacrificing.

--

It was really considerate of the villagers, Sasuke thought, to make him climb a mountain in a kimono. The shining white fabric that supposedly represented his purity had long since turned to an ugly shade of gray from all the dirt that was delighted to see something so clean to latch itself onto.

The ridiculous sandals he had tossed away at the very beginning, deciding it was simply impossible to walk on them, let alone climb a mountain. Though now the sharp rocks kept on painfully pressing against his feet, wanting to cut through the skin. And yet, that was the least of his problems.

Either he suffered from a serious lack of luck or the so-said god was being an ass, because after only three hours of climbing, the sunny sky had suddenly turned into depressing gray (breaking his sundial and thus killing his sense of time) and it started pouring on him like mad. Somewhere in the distance he could hear Itachi laugh, or maybe he was just losing it.

Ripping the hem of the kimono away so that it wouldn't be such a bother, Sasuke looked at his destination and started climbing again with furious stubbornness. He was going to die anyway, so might as well do it at the top.

But the coldness of the rain clung stubbornly onto his skin and the grumbling hunger made him feel even dizzier than the taxing weather and exhaustion from the climbing. The air grew thinner the upper he went and made his lungs scream for air.

It was stupid, it was exhausting and Sasuke was so, _so_ tired of it all. He wasn't even there yet. That cursed mountain, did it have to be so tall? His wobbling legs couldn't support him anymore and Sasuke collapsed to the ground, into a puddle no less, and cursed as loudly as he could with his sore throat.

No matter if there was no one to witness it, it was just downright humiliating. But his aching body refused to move and Sasuke kept on thinking how nice it would have been if he'd be lying in his own bed right now, sleeping the day away like he usually did.

And so, he closed his eyes.

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To Be Continued...

Sometimes I wish someone else would write all the ideas I get. D:

Comment and Criticize! X3


	2. The Hobo Cave

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. Not even the tiniest bit of it.

To tell you the truth, I'm not satisfied with the beginning of this chapter. But since I'm a lazy bastard, I'll do absolutely nothing about it.

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Chapter two: The Hobo Cave

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Sasuke was wallowing in heavy darkness. It felt like forever since he had seen anything or felt anything or… _been_ anything. The maddening nothingness almost made him doubt if he even existed anymore, or rather, if everything but him ceased to exist. It was unpleasant and he struggled to find something in there, to make himself exist again because surely, even being trapped in that rotten village would be better than this.

After what had felt like a couple of eternities, he finally felt the heavy pull of gravity grab his being, guiding him back to where things existed.

Sasuke woke up with a start, gasping for air. The light that hit his face, however, made his senses react with painful dislike and so he fell back to lie on his back while clutching his eyes shut. Groaning, he waited for the slight inconvenience to get itself over with, and killed the time by thinking that maybe, just maybe (_oh-god-please_) it had all been just a dream. A long, _long _dream that started from the day he had begun to understand the true nature of a human being called Itachi.

"Hey! I think he woke up!"

A delighted cheer came from somewhere, forcing Sasuke to open his eyes again. At least someone was happy to have him back, it seemed.

Slowly, his vision cleared and he had a look of his surroundings, the sight leaving him a bit puzzled. So, he rubbed his eyes and took another look. Nope, still the same place. Sasuke was in a cave. An oddly decorated one at that, with lots of random objects piling up everywhere, turning the hole-carved-in-stone into a really messy place to be in.

From somewhere behind the piles of junk, a young man appeared. For a moment, a very _short_ moment, only for a _nanosecond_ even, Sasuke's eyes widened a bit and a blush visited his naturally pale cheeks.

Smiling blue eyes that were attached to a sinfully pleasant-to-look-at face, were directed at him, maybe even kindly asking his wellbeing. His golden, messy hair made Sasuke want to run his hand through it and the body of a bronze colored Adonis just gave ideas where else the hands could wander off to (Dear lord, he must've caught Mountain Rabies because Sasuke sure as hell wasn't drooling.)

The blond was walking towards him in slow motion, and Sasuke could swear that the background was filled with stars and sparkles!

Fucking gorgeous.

"Are you a sex god?"

His own dazed voice made Sasuke snap out of the bewitchment and replace the pleasant feeling of ogling at the good looking guy with the need to crawl under a rock on die. Against his expectations though, the blond didn't rub Sasuke's mortification in his face. It was like he didn't even see Sasuke's embarrassment, as his smile turned to a more serious expression.

"It's '_The God of Sex'_, geez, get it right next time. And no, I'm not. It's Jiraiya on the other continent."

And so the spell was broken as suddenly as it had been cast on him. It figures that some people just shouldn't open their mouths. This guy was a complete and total moron!

The serious look faded away from the other's face as a smile made its way through again, and the man looked at him with curious eyes.

"Anyway, I'm glad you're awake now! Took you some time too, but hey, I've got plenty of time, lucky you."

Sasuke averted his eyes from the blond, unsure what to say (_Who are you? Did you save me? Where's the exit? Can we have sex now, please?_) The fool was still seducing him with his looks alone, but then, Sasuke supposed it wasn't really the blond's fault since Itachi had always said that Sasuke had the same thing going on for him.

"Sooo…"

Did the moron not know how to embrace an awkward silence?

"Why did you climb the mountain? Are you stupid?"

The last question was slightly in conflict with the sincerely concerned looking expression on his host's face.

"That's none of your business! And even if my reasons are completely asinine, it doesn't make _me_ stupid, moron."

The insult he added at the end was said with high quality superiority, Sasuke pleasantly noted, smugly crossing his arms in front of his chest and watched in satisfaction as the blond gaped at him. After a while well spent on trying to think of a comeback (anything witty would have done but Wit itself seemed to have deemed the blond unworthy of it), the blond just huffed.

"_Moron_ he says… But anyway, you were carrying some stuff with you when I found you; did you come to sacrifice them or something? People usually leave them at the temples, you know; no one ever actually _climbs_ here."

Shaking his head at the dark-haired stranger, the blond just stood up and wandered off behind the piles of junk. Sasuke just sat there for awhile longer, unsure if he should perhaps follow the blond or just stay still. In the end, he got up from the bed-like thing (it was really just soft things tossed into a pile) and cautiously circled around the random objects as he tried to take the same path the blond had.

Behind just a few piles, he found a junk-free clearing with a nicely burning campfire build in the middle. The blond had crouched in front of it, watching the fire with interest. Beside him there was a creepy looking redhead with dark bags under his eyes and a passive look on his face as he too stared at the fire. The flames reflected from his green eyes, giving the redhead a slightly psychotic look and Sasuke decided it was better to just look away and pretend he wasn't even there. (It was like he was taught; treat others like you would want them to treat you. In this case Sasuke'd rather not be treated at all so by ignoring the redhead he wished the redhead would do the same.)

Hesitantly walking closer, he stopped a few meters behind the blond, preparing to speak with an arrogant tone to make sure that neither of the two who occupied the cave would think that Sasuke was intimidated by the blond's companion.

"Where'd all this junk come from?"

The blond didn't turn around to look at him, just waved a dismissing hand.

"It's all stuff people leave at the temples."

"And you dragged all that here?"

"Yeah."

"That makes you nothing but a filthy thief then."

Sasuke pointedly didn't include the redhead in his accusation, no matter how likely it was that the two of them were partners in crime. The blond turned to stare at Sasuke, his eyes wide in disbelief. As the words sunk into his understanding (very slowly), the comical look on his face turned into a furious one, his eyes turning into a shade of violet. Sasuke could see sharpened canines as the blond growled, the all-around feral look making the dark-haired boy think that maybe he had said the wrong thing.

But that aside, even if he was slightly trembling (though that was only because he could swear a volcano erupted somewhere behind the blond for an added effect) pride made Sasuke look straight into the other's eyes.

"Who the hell-" the blond stood up and Sasuke felt himself taking a step back, "do you think you are talking to-!?"

But before the angered boy before him had the time to explode on Sasuke, the third occupant in the room let himself known by speaking in a surprisingly deep and rich voice.

"Hatch."

And with that one word, the fury disappeared into thin air, as the blond turned around excitedly, crouching back down to stare at the fire. It was highly possible that Sasuke had some masochistic tendencies, the Uchiha thought, as he warily walked closer to the fire out of curiosity. A loud crack could be heard from the flames.

"I can't believe my baby's finally hatching! What do you think it's going to be, Gaara?"

"Raccoon."

Crouching in front of the fire, Sasuke got a look of what the two other creeps were staring at so passionately. There was a rather big egg, completely surrounded by the flames and it was cracking. With every piece of eggshell that fell off, the two leaned in closer, making Sasuke snort at the thought that soon their hair would probably be caught on fire.

Finally, a big piece broke off from the egg and a lizard-like thing crawled out of it, gracefully jumping out of the camp-fire before hissing at the flames. It was blue and had horns, wings and mean looking yellow eyes. Sasuke knew enough to recognise it as a baby dragon. He'd never seen one, mostly because they were rather rare, although, he had heard that recently there had been a couple even on their continent.

"Not another dragon! I was so sure it was going to be a fox this time!"

Sasuke turned to look at the now whining blond beside him. The redhead, also known as Gaara, shifted a bit and Sasuke thought he looked slightly disappointed as well.

"A raccoon…"

"Yeah, I know you wanted a raccoon, Gaara. I suppose luck just wasn't on our side this time either."

Grabbing the dragon from the floor, the blond walked to the entrance of the cave and tossed the dragon out of there. Struggling to stay in air, the dragon glared at the boy before flying away. Sasuke observed them with a raised eyebrow.

"What were you talking about foxes and raccoons?"

Returning back into the cave, the boy took a seat beside him, pouting slightly.

"I was hoping a fox would've hatched from the egg."

"Are you a retard?"

"Hey-!"

"For your information, foxes are mammals and don't lay eggs." Sasuke felt Gaara's steady gaze poring onto him and he returned the stare. "Same goes to raccoons."

The look in those green eyes was too disturbing and the Uchiha had to turn to look elsewhere, finding devastated blue-eyes much more pleasant to look at.

"You lie! The guy who gave this to us said that it was a surprise egg and that _anything_ could come out!"

"He's the one who lied, you moron. Don't tell me you paid for that?"

"I- _of course_ I paid for it! And he would never lie to me! He's my number one votary, after all."

As if he had just cleverly proven how totally wrong the dark-haired teen was, the Moron, as Sasuke decided to call him from now on, gave him a challenging look. A challenge which Sasuke saw no point in and decided to just ignore it because Moron was just a waste of his precious – wait, what? Did the blond just use the word _votary_?

"Care to explain the 'votary' part?"

"I'm surprised you don't know of him. He lives down in your village, pretty influential and all that. Uchiha Itachi's his name."

Sasuke's eyes widened.

"You've got to be fucking kidding me!"

The Moron frowned.

"Don't curse. And I'm not. He gave me that egg so I drowned him in riches."

And so it turned out that Itachi had made them rich by simply selling dragon eggs to some idiot. A very wealthy idiot at that. No wonder Sasuke had never seen Itachi do a day of actual work if the guy had really '_drowned him in riches_.'

"Okay, so, how'd hermits like you get money to buy an egg that expensive?"

Obviously offended, the blond stood up and looked down at him, crossing his arms in front of his chest for a good measure.

"Gaara and I, we are no hermits."

A dramatic pause.

"We are _gods_."

Silence.

Okay. Sasuke blinked. _Gods_. Yeah right. So Itachi had made his living by tricking a _god_. These two boys weren't hermit thieves but _gods_. Sure.

Wasn't the last thing Sasuke heard Itachi shout at him something along the lines; '_And if you happen to run into god, tell him that Itachi sent ya_!'

Sasuke shook his head and let out a small mocking laugh.

"Gods. As if."

"I'm your god, believe it!"

Still sitting on the ground, Sasuke leaned his weight on his arms and looked at the other sceptically.

"How can I believe that when there are two of you and our village worships only one god?"

The blond glanced at his companion before turning back to Sasuke, a determined look on his face.

"Gaara's the god of the Village of Sand. It's down east, on a desert. He's just visiting me."

"Uh-huh. Gods visit each other?"

"Well, yeah. Gaara lives in a teapot and he hates the stuffiness so he comes to spend time here from now and then."

The sceptic look didn't disappear from Sasuke's face and this irritated the god to no end. Stomping his foot he glared at his dark-haired offender.

"What kind of believer doesn't recognise his own god!?"

"Fine, I believe you. That just makes me mortified of how moronic our god really is."

"How can you say that!? After all this time I've watched over your village, ungrateful much?"

"Speaking of looking after the village, you've been doing one shitty job, _god_."

The irritated look turned into embarrassment and the blond chuckled nervously.

"Yeah, well, that is to say… I just kind of got excited about the surprise egg and _momentarily_ forgot my duties."

In Sasuke's near-to-genius mind, he quickly concluded that since it was Itachi who had sold the egg to the god, the unfortunate weather had actually been indirectly Itachi's fault. And being the respectable villager Itachi was, he had decided to correct the mistake by offering the most noblest of sacrifices; not himself, but his innocent baby brother.

All this because Itachi was a sneaky bastard and their supposed god was an easy-to-trick fool. Sasuke closed his eyes and let out a mournful sigh.

God bless you Uchiha Itachi.

"Okay, you, god, whatever. Stop it. It's your duty to watch over us, so just do your damn job and don't buy any more strange things from Itachi."

Blue eyes blinked and there was an obedient '_yes sir_' as Sasuke stood up from the ground, brushing off the dust from the shreds of the ceremonial kimono he still had on. Sparing a last glance towards the supposed god, Sasuke pointed at the direction where the blond had tossed the dragon earlier.

"Exit is that way, I assume?"

Receiving a nod as confirmation, Sasuke said nothing more and started to walk. Destination: Out of there.

"Hey, where are you going?"

Sasuke didn't even bother to turn around to look at the blond anymore.

"Home. I accomplished to do what I was sent here for. I see no reason to stay. Bye."

"Oh, okay. It was nice meeting you. My name is Naruto, by the way!"

Just waving a hand over his shoulder, Sasuke continued to walk out while thinking whether he should actually return to the village or not. Just when he reached the entrance of the cave he heard the god called Naruto shout one last thing after him.

"Oh! And just so you know, you sort of _died_ on your way here."

Sasuke just snorted, not bothering to question what the hell that blond had meant with those words. Sasuke was a live and well. Really, what a moron.

--

The view took his breath away. He was actually standing at the top of the mountain. The sky was clear and Sasuke could see the edge of the world from up there. He hadn't been outside his village since his parents had died and now he could see the whole world all at once (assuming the world was shaped like a flat plate)!

But one thing at a time, and the first thing on Sasuke's to-do list was to sleep in his own bed. And since he had accomplished keeping the village safe the villagers would treat him as a hero and he'd be free to do whatever the hell he wanted. And now that he was at the top of the world, Sasuke decided that he wanted nothing more than the world itself. Travel, explore, find a place where no one had heard the name Uchiha Itachi.

With confident steps, he started to walk down the mountain, not minding or even noticing how he was still barefooted. It was blowing hard but it wasn't cold at all. Actually, his body felt oddly comfortable considering the environment he was. Shrugging it off as nothing, Sasuke continued on.

After having gone down about one third of the mountain, however, Sasuke had to stop his uneventful journey back home. And it wasn't because he was tired. And it definitely wasn't because of there was the corpse of some stranger lying on the ground, just a few meters from him, of course not. If that had been the case Sasuke would have simply circled it and continued on as if he hadn't seen anything.

'You sort of _died_ on your way here,' the Moron had said.

Really now, what was Sasuke thinking. Naruto had just tricked him. Never mind that the body had the same jewellery on as Sasuke did when the village had forced him to climb there. Just ignore the black hair still sticking onto the skull. Everyone could have been wearing a similar, ripped kimono while climbing a mountain, just like Sasuke, right?

Yes, and surely, he was just hallucinating because he thought he was staring at a faded Uchiha crest that was sewed at the back side of the garment.

The last bit of denial was very hard to hold onto anymore.

* * *

_To Be Continued..._

Comment and criticize!


	3. God is a Parasite

**Disclaimer: **Naruto is all Kishimoto's.

**A/N:** Updating took so long because I suck! Thank you. ::bows::

**Warning:** Boy loving, though, not all hot and detailed. Clumsy storytelling with mistakes in it, we think. Oh, and if you're sensitive about things having to do with religion, then you should probably stop reading this.

**About:** Sasuke's corpse thing, you were very concerned about it. Just so you know, I didn't think that fully through. I was picturing it as an Ötzi like... thing. Except maybe more bony. But that isn't really relevant! (Or it is, but I choose to ignore it.)

And Naruto and the other gods are like Greek gods. You know, all human like with faults and such but still gods.

* * *

'_We are not amused_,' was the attitude Sasuke stomped inside the cave with, surprising the two gods occupying it. Or rather, just one of them, since the redhead seemed to lack any reaction altogether. Naruto looked at him rather guiltily, slowly trying to hide the hen's egg he had been about to put into the campfire. 

Sasuke had to bite his comment on the egg back, wondering what part of '_stop the idiocy'_ the blond had not understood. He shook his head. _Never mind the eggs_!

The reason he had climbed back here was to own some god ass, and not in a sexual way, mind you. To put it nicely, Sasuke was pissed off. _Beyond furious_. Because denial had won and he would blame the so called god for pulling the most sick and disgusting prank he had ever heard of.

Surely, they had just made a fake corpse to freak Sasuke out and got some serious kicks out of it. That must be the case. In what Sasuke would not just simply ignore and forget about, but climb up the mountain again to show those bums just how much their little practical joke was truly appreciated.

"You-!"

His voice was low and pleasantly dangerous, Sasuke noted. The furious look he was giving the blond god (pointedly ignoring the redhead) made Naruto sit on his legs, spine straight in a disciplined stage without even noticing it.

"Hi! I, um, didn't expect you to come back..."

"You expected me to just laugh and walk past that little joke of a skeleton you put on the mountain to freak me out!?"

Naruto frowned, this believer was so feisty.

"It was no joke. You died, I told you that."

"I'm alive, moron."

Sasuke slapped his hand to his chest as to prove a point. As far as Sasuke knew, being dead yet alive equalled that you were a ghost of some sort. Ghosts were transparent as far as he knew, and he sure as hell wasn't. Sasuke was alive and breathing!

"Yes, you are."

And this confused Sasuke even more, because this Naruto had just told him that he's alive right after he had stated that he had died. Sanity, it seemed, had never even stepped inside that cave.

"So that corpse couldn't possibly be me!"

"Yes, it is."

"That means I died."

"You did."

"Yet I live?"

"That's right."

The god was speaking as if everything was so _obvious_. That Sasuke should _understand_ how he had died yet he was alive. He could feel the headache coming that he usually got when having to deal with idiots.

He closed his eyes and pressed two fingers on the brink of his nose, trying to remember how to speak 'idiot', a skill he had learned while having to deal with some his brother's friends.

"Fucking moron."

No, wait. Wrong answer. That just led into pointless arguments or encouraged them to commit more idiocy.

"I'll kindly give you ten seconds to explain what the hell happened to me. I don't want any bullshit. If I'm satisfied enough, maybe I won't hurt you too much."

Naruto gave a laugh.

"You can't hurt me! I'm a _god_ for Pete's sake."

But the laugh died off as soon as Sasuke's eyes narrowed even more and he started to count downwards from ten.

It was Gaara's melodic voice that answered his question though.

"A parasite."

Sasuke gave the redhead a wary look, not sure at all what that had meant but not brave enough to question the god. Naruto just wrinkled his nose.

"Don't say that, Gaara."

The next moments were spend in silence, as Naruto kept on frowning in disapproval and Gaara had a look on that clearly said something along the lines _'but it's the truth_.'

"Excuse me, the explanation, please?"

Naruto snapped out of their staring contest and paid his attention to Sasuke again.

"You became a legend."

Sasuke blinked.

"A what now?"

The blond god ran a hand through his hair, letting out a long sigh. It wasn't like he disliked explaining, but he'd rather do other things right now. He glanced longingly at the egg he had been about to put into the fire, but a demanding cough from his non-believer made him focus at the problem at hand.

"You know what a legend is, don't you? Kind of like us gods, except less powerful because you used to be human."

Sasuke's eye twitched in irritation.

"Legends are tales about people who did great things, told throughout generations. So yes, I _do_ know what a legend is but that doesn't explain my current..._condition_."

"Of course it does! You did something great and brave and now your name lives even though you died. And they say that legends live forever, lucky you."

He could feel a tingle of excitement. Forever, eh? Bet you that Itachi could never pull_ that_ off.

"Wait, wait. I understand my name living forever but what about my body?"

He received an unnecessarily loud yawn, as Naruto stretched his muscles, implying boredom. Gaara eyed the blond before sparing a small glance towards the dark-haired sacrifice.

"A parasite."

That got Naruto's negative interest back. Gaara sure knew how to deal with short attention spans, it seemed.

"We're not parasites, Gaara! More like, uh, we just _leech_ our existence out of human beliefs. See, people down at your village believed into a god living on this mountain so strongly that a being was able to materialize out of those thoughts. And thus, Naruto the Trickster God was born!"

The blond high-fifed with himself by clasping his hands together above his head, grinning like mad.

"So that's how gods are born? And here I thought that you created us humans."

Naruto laughed, his eyes watering. Gaara just made a small 'hm' noise, but Sasuke wasn't ready to bet whether it was a sound of amusement or annoyance towards Naruto's loudness.

"There's always a human first. Honestly, you come up with the weirdest things when you lack explanations. Have you ever heard of Jashin? I mean, geez, and here I thought Gaara's believers were masochists."

Sasuke cocked a brow. No, he had never heard of this Jashin, but then again, he had never been invited to a gods counselling or wherever these guys met each other.

"So I rematerialized in this world because my name lives on. That... doesn't sound so bad."

It sounded fucking good to be more precise. The village had done one good thing for him, and that was making him _immortal_. In your face, Konoha!

"This new body does live forever, right? It won't grow old and weak, will it?"

Naruto waved a dismissing hand.

"Nah, you died young and beautiful and you will stay that way too. Though, your existence is still a bit wavering."

"Incomplete."

They were both staring at him, calculating. Naruto's stare he could handle, but Gaara's was too much. His defence mechanism was to get irritated.

"What?"

"Just saying, maybe you didn't complete what you came here to do? Your own mind is in conflict with what people think you have done to deserve being a legend. So, what exactly did you come here for in the first place?"

He frowned, looking from the blond to the sacrificial items he had been given before his trip. Originally he had come here to die, there was a check there.

"A sacrifice."

"Yeah, I know... wait, you mean _he_ was the sacrifice?"

Also, the items to kill himself with were taken as a sacrifice by Naruto, so that should only be an added bonus on his list.

"Jiraiya."

"Yeah, Jiraiya sure likes his women, but this guy's not a girl, is he now."

"Orochimaru."

"I heard he likes little boys but I really don't want to know what he does with them."

Sasuke's eyes widened. It couldn't be, no! He was sent as a _virgin_ sacrifice. Which made him ponder just what kind of raunchy legends the villagers had decided to write and tell about him. Covering his face with his hands, he tried to shake off the disturbing mental images. No, no, no. Absolutely not!

"Did you figure it out?"

Sasuke lifted his face from his hands, finding the two meters between him and the god more than he felt comfortable with. He turned to look away, face red. He came to sacrifice his life, not his virginity! That damn village was getting the last laugh after all with their damned homo erotica.

He cursed. He cursed loudly and said words that made even Gaara show some emotion that he labelled between surprise and approval.

"I, uh, suppose that you figured something out?"

The blond laughed nervously and took several steps backwards, away from that feisty believer.

"It's obvious that you're not happy about it but I think it needs to be done. Otherwise, if the people who think of you as a legend might come to think of you as some loser who just went there and came back again without actually doing anything."

Sasuke stopped cursing the village for a moment. Wait, wait, wait. This was about becoming, or rather, already being, _immortal_. Surely virginity would be a very low price to pay for it. He nodded to himself.

"By the way, Gaara. I really think your believers must masochists for worshipping a god who hasn't even been there for _five generations_ now."

Gaara stayed passive for a moment, taking his time to progress what Naruto had just said. He then began to stand up in an extremely lazy pace and began to travel towards the cave's exit.

Naruto turned to look at his other guest.

"Hey, you never told me your name."

Sasuke looked thoughtful still. He was going to lose his virginity at some point anyway. Maybe not to a man, but still. Hell, this must've been a bargain, to have one up on Itachi. He turned to look at Naruto with an evil glint in his eye.

"I'm Uchiha Sasuke, Itachi's little brother."

Naruto smiled in delight.

"You don't say!"

He nodded and walked over to the messy pile of clothes and blankets he suspected the god viewed as a bed and sat down, smirking at the god.

"So, I have to finish what I came to do in order to stabilise my existence?"

The blond nodded in affirmative.

"That's right."

"I need your cooperation for it though."

"I have time."

"Excellent. I need you to take my virginity."

It was a humiliating matter to Sasuke, but he managed to say it confidently, showing no signs of embarrassment. Naruto looked confused though, making Sasuke to grit his teeth. It figures that he'd have to explain things further, it was an idiot he was talking to, after all.

"Dobe… Let's have sex."

Simple enough, it seemed even Naruto could understand that. His eyes widened and cheeks flushed, Sasuke found it kind of adorable.

Naruto really was an ideal sex partner, at least visibly, the Uchiha thought as he kept on scanning the sight of a disturbed god in front of him. Sasuke licked his lips. But Naruto wasn't the real '_God of Sex'_, it kind of made him wonder just what kind of treat that would be.

"What? No!"

The boy had enough wit to quickly cover his crotch with his hands and try to back away. It was a fatal mistake to underestimate Sasuke though; his own escaping attempts had been stopped so many times he had got a hang of their techniques. Naruto wouldn't be going anywhere until Sasuke got what he wanted.

Quickly, he stood up and walked over to the blond whose back collided with a nearby wall from all the backing away without watching just where he was going. Placing both hands on either side of the god, Sasuke pinned him against the wall and breathed into his ear.

"Why not?"

"Because I don't want to!"

The god was squirming and whining like a little girl, it amused Sasuke greatly. Oh, it felt good to be in control.

"It just occurred to me, dear god, just how did I die?"

Naruto took the time to look puzzled despite the uncomfortable position his guest kept him in.

"How should I know? I found you dead."

"But I just fainted and heard a voice before doing so."

It had bothered him, but the way things were going, he thought that this might end up being great extortion material if Naruto was at all at fault. Turn every single little inconvenient detail against a person, a lesson learned in life, thanks to Itachi.

"Fainted? But your eyes were closed and you didn't move. It was obvious that you had died so I took the little soul you had remaining in you and brought it in here in case you were declared as some legendary mountain climber and would appreciate to wake up in a more appropriate environment."

Sasuke didn't know anything about souls or creation of a legend, but he did somehow get that Naruto had _possibly_ mistaken him as a dead person and killed him by accident. Ripping a soul out of a body? Wouldn't the fact that there still was a soul in his body be proof that he had been alive?

"Oh yeah! I suppose you're right."

Naruto laughed not-at-all nervously as he rubbed his neck sheepishly.

"My bad."

"Indeed. So, since it was you who killed me, see it as your responsibility to stabilise my immortality!"

"Whaaat!? No- Sasuke- hands off my pants!"

Yes, Sasuke wasn't one to stall, but went straight to business. Sex required being naked, so off with the pants, that's what he thought. Naruto highly disagreed though.

There was a lot of struggling and cursing. At some point, it occurred to Sasuke that he might come to look like a rapist if this went on, but he didn't really care. In the end, Naruto managed to push him off to the bed and back away, clutching his clothes, breathing hard from the battle.

"What the hell? You can't treat me like this! I'm your god, I demand some respect!"

Sasuke was out of breath as well, sitting on the bed, glaring at Naruto with all his power. Taking more calming breaths, he closed his eyes and tried to concentrate. Just like Tobi taught him… open your eyes a bit wider than usual, make them water a bit for an added effect.

"I'm sorry, it's just… this is important to me, Naruto."

Make sure your eyebrows quiver a bit to make an impression of pathetic desperation.

"But I understand if you won't see through something because of your cowardice. Even if it's something you yourself started."

After the soul tearing gaze, turn your eyes away from the target to the floor to increase the feeling of quilt/sympathy you were aiming for.

"I just… can't do this on my own."

Finish them off with a brutal, long disappointed sigh.

"…Sasuke…"

Slowly, he dared to take a peek at the god. Had it worked? Was getting downright pathetic worth it? Naruto didn't look like it had worked though. In fact, instead of a look of sympathy, he was actually glaring, arms crossed in front of his chest.

"Drop the act. Honestly, you must be the most unsympathetic person out there."

Sasuke just shrugged, it had been worth a try. At least it had made Naruto walk towards him for reasons unknown.

"But how dare you accuse me of being a coward and not finishing what I started!?"

Naruto received a bored look and that damn raised eyebrow.

"Because that's what you did."

"Well, I _will_ finish what I started!"

With a huff, the boy dropped to sit beside him on the bed-like thing, looking determined. The look faded away when awkward silence decided to pay them a visit.

"Well?"

"Aren't you going to do something?"

"Like what?"

"How should I know?"

"You should know."

"I'm the _legendary virgin_."

"It's not like I've done this before either!"

Running his hand through his hair, Naruto sighed in frustration. Sasuke had been so keen on raping him earlier and now he was just sitting there, looking as embarrassed as Naruto felt. Deciding that someone had to start this, the god slowly shifted closer to the boy on his bed, brining their faces merely inches apart.

Sasuke turned to look at him, not encouraging him to continue whatever he was doing by leaning forward but not discouraging either by jumping back.

Shrugging, Naruto just leaned forward to press their lips together. Sasuke didn't move, he didn't even blink as the god massaged his lips against his, trying to get some kind of a response. Naruto pulled back, his expression as dull as the other's.

"Some participation from your side would be appreciated."

"…"

"No?"

"…"

"Well, let's at least get naked if nothing else."

The blond progressed to get rid of his own plain shirt, slipping it over his head, unknowingly giving a very pleasant view of his flexed abs to Sasuke who couldn't tear his eyes away.

"Well?"

The whole situation was just downright awkward and embarrassing, for the both of them. Sasuke didn't deal well with these kinds of situations, not at all. He preferred to become extremely bastard-like or just run away but now neither seemed to be an option. How the hell was he supposed to act?

Naruto had already reached his pants, ready to pull them down. Quickly turning to look away, he decided to play along and started to remove his own ceremonial kimono, cheeks flushed.

All garment gone, they now sat in the same position, stark naked, neither of them doing anything. Naruto's embarrassment was starting to turn into irritation though, and soon enough, he snapped and decided to just do things his own way by bouncing on the boy in front of him, trapping Sasuke underneath him.

Rather than the much sought after lust and arousal, it was just competition that filled them, that leading into wrestling, ragged breathing and rough touches. Even though he kept on cursing and struggling back, Sasuke had to admit it was less awkward this way. By the time Naruto finally just pushed himself flushed against the Uchiha, they were already used to the other, having touched _here and there_, even if it wasn't with the intention to pleasure the other.

But through trial and tribulation, they finally managed to have sex. Demonstrated by these outtakes of their activity:

--

"That_hurts_!"

"Uh, sorry, want me to pull away?"

"Yeah, try something smaller first."

"Like what?"

"I dunno, use your fingers or something."

--

"You know, Sasuke. _Technically_ you're not a virgin anymore…"

"Just. Keep. Moving. You. Idiot!"

--

"I-it's not moving right."

"Maybe we're supposed to, ah, use lubricant."

"Gnh, how'd you figure?"

"I-it has become a popular sacrifice among the villagers."

--

Some incoherent moaning.

--

They were both lying down, staring at each other in a daze. It had been so extremely clumsy but still left a feeling of satisfaction that made up for all the embarrassment. To Sasuke, Naruto looked so perfectly amazing right now, ruffled up, staring at him in a dream like stage.

It made his heart flutter and cheeks grow hot. Of course he would end up feeling like this. Something like this would always feel special.

He raised him hand to touch the boy again, fingers trailing the marked cheeks. Naruto closed his eyes, leaning into the touch. His dark eyes trailed to stare at the still swollen lips of the god, but when he leaned forward to taste them once more, Naruto opened his mouth to speak unpleasant words.

"I think you should leave."

His fingers stopped trailing the soft skin of Naruto's cheek, eyes turning from being completely smitten to sharp and wary, the ugly feeling of being betrayed slowly filling him.

"I can't have you being different from all the other villagers. If I start picking out favourites, I fail as a god."

Sasuke didn't say anything, just withdrew his hand, sat up and started to put his clothes back on. Naruto watched him walk away with regretful eyes.

* * *

_To Be Continued..._

In which NoNo sucks at explaining. But there will be more explaining in the next chapter, I swear! It'll all make sense, at some point, maybe.

Ah, I forgot to mention how long Sasuke had been dead out there. Maybe it'll pop up later but I might as well mention it so you'll sleep your night better. The answer is... Two Generations::cheers::

**Comment and Criticize! **


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